2 face people.

I just found out how people do things in this sociality.

Backstabbing, saboing..

People can do anything...Anything! To get what they want in this sociality.

Money, Fame, Favour, Respect..

Whatever..

This are things that people like and of cause..

Everyone wants to be recognized , including me of cause.

Today, i really got screwed infront of all my seniors, excluding howard who was on leave.

1 of my senior who was very nice to me, today pumped me because of my boots.

Ok..

Maybe because im in this vocation for quite awhile so i guess im being pumped for that.

On the other hand, it could be just an reminder instead, but no, got to go through the hard way.

Fine, i think thats ok. But, as i was going for lunch. There this clerk i have in my guard room. He's also a CPL, a senior in a way. I ask my other senior to cover my duty, as i was waiting for him to come down, the CPL ask me to go for lunch 1st. Then he said he'll cover..Ok.. So i went for lunch, but i went for 30mins, which was quite long to them. I had lunch for 30mins before. But..today the senior who was very nice to me before..Asked me why did i went for lunch and didn't informed anyone. Ok, i said the CPL covered for me. Then he asked me if he was a provost. I said no, but i didn't even have the chance to say that he allowed me. Then they just keep shooting me, saying why did i took so long to eat and all.

In the end, i got pump again.

Its not really about how much pumping i get...But no one is there cover or explain for me. Including the CPL. Nice.. How much worst can my NS life be? We are all NSF, yet, they are doing nothing to improve any relationships. Everyone just cares about doing less work and being more of a BOSS. This is the world.

Then..there were some commotion over a lost visitor pass. Then the seniors of cause point the arrow to me. Of cause who else? There another guy from my intake, and they never blame him. Only me. I don't know, im i easy to bully because im too nice? Do i really have to show the other side of me? How frustrating..

Then this senior keep telling me about the bad things of a senior behind the senior's back, and then, tells me another story behind another senior's back. How screwed up is this place?

I don't know whens the arrow gonna come to me and shoot me down.

So much backstabbing and saboing within them. Im getting all the blame.

Ha, Im i really suppose to do something about it God?

It seems impossible, untill they all ORD.

Ha, i think thats the time when all this things will stop, i hope.

If people like them don't come to this place.

But, i feel really like shit being sabo-ed and blamed.

I've never had such feelings for years..

Is sucking up the only solution?

Because sucking up looks easier for the other guy from the same intake as me.

People work with people they like.

They never care who the hell are you. As long you help them.

I guess i have to go the extra mile. Although i really hate serve my NS.

I guess its now no a total waste of time.

I get to learn how people work in this sociality.

God guide me.