It's a little ironic to say my life is amazing..
Really alot of events happening in my life as i serve my NS.
This 1 year and 1month has really been hell for me..
Hell in a sense tiring, defeating and draining.
Honestly, i can't wait to ORD and say, i have finished the worst 2 years of my life.
There's a lot of factors of why i talk like that.
I know i am a guy, and i shouldn't complain and just suck it up.
But seriously..i think i have feelings too...
I ta han and tank for too long already.
I think sometimes i am being too nice to people..and people starts to climb over my head.
And that feeling sucks.
Maybe it's training me to suck my thumb longer? I don't know, but i buay tong liao.
Camp is really shitty and it's not just the job..its the bloody people..
Basket..I got sabo-ed again on tuesday afternoon, and when im about 1 hour away from going home, my CPL who is a provost IC confined me and my junior because for not checking 1 bag!
And the problem is! I didn't see, but my junior did..and he didn't went to check.
Then become my problem...but that's not it..
He confined us both of a total of 2 hours..
WTS, seriously, where the hell got such thing...NSF confine NSF?!
That's really too much already. And on that day, my RSM(my supervisor) wasn't in camp..
I mean can close one eye 1 what, must we go to such extent?
And the thing is, we are not enemies or what.. we were all along ok with one another.
Then suddenly you come up with this kind of shitty stun? What are you trying to prove?!
Nvm this crap, after that, i was lucky enough that the DO(duty officer) was nice enough to sign our confinement forms early and allow us to leave camp early.
The next day, i was having slight cough but also lazy to go for work..
I wanted to take MC for the day and then they all started to sms and tell me that im not allowed to take..I was like, i am not even on MC restrict and i only took 9 MCs since recruit!
Then they told me, order from RSM. What to do? Suck thumb lor.
Took time-chit, reached camp and my RSM started shooting me. Asking all sort of stupid questions, asking me what time i went home and all..then i told him, the DO already signed my confinement form then i go home la..then he started to bullshit around saying i can only leave after the confinement time is over, and asked me WHO SAYS..
how the hell i know? Am i the CD act?
And asked me why i reach camp so late after seeing doctor..
i didn't told him la..i took my time...
But lim pei stay in toa payoh leh!!!
Basket..
Nothing to say already, say my performance like shit..
really........
This is just for this week....
Guess life 's like that, and honestly, i can't really find anybody who really understands me..
So many of my friends haven't when through NS and i couldn't find people who went through what i went through..
But who else can i look to? Only God.
It's really not easy and it really requires alot of patience to wait upon God for a reply.
Sometimes, we need direct encouragement or message? right?
Then when i don't hear from God, i try to seek help from others, but im just like that..I don't dare to bother people or trouble them..and if i do, they don't know what im going through..then they just say, hang on, hold on, jia you. But what i really need is advice..a verse..a prayer..
Man, i know..im like a girl now..
Haha, i gotta laugh about it, put on a smile and trust God.
Seriously, God, you're all i have left.
I'll do my best, and can you assure me?
I really need you to be on my side. Assure that you're with me ok?
I can't go on without you already..
I guess this stupid NS has broken me down to understand more too..
God, please understand that i am weak, but remind me that you are strong.
I need your strength.
